Dea Ex Machina

Please read the Disclaimer in Part One!
Warning: This story is rated NC-17. Do not read it if you are under 17 years of age, or if the idea of two women in love turns you off. This story contains fairly explicit sexual content, as well as at least one obscenity (in part 3).

"Aphrodite!!" shouted an angry voice. Ares, the God of War, strode through the dark caverns, avoiding gouts of flame with ease. He entered the main forge and confronted the object of his ire, perched on a stool as she watched her husband work.

"Oh, hiya, Ares," she greeted him with a smile. "Where's the fire?" She and the God of Fire both laughed. The God of War scowled.

"What in Tartarus have you done to Xena?"

"Oh, that." Aphrodite sighed dreamily. "Don't they make, like, the cutest couple ever?" She glanced at her husband. "I mean, besides *us* of course, Heffy."

Ares stepped forward and seized her arm. "I asked you to help, you insipid little wench, and you...you go and turn the finest warrior on earth into some lovesick kitten!"

"Chill *out*, dude," Aphrodite said, trying to shake him off. "Like, you have your methods, and I have mine, ya know?"

"Hey," Hephaestus growled, turning toward his brother with a hot iron in his hand. "That's my wife you're godhandling, asshole."

"Shut up," Ares advised. "Now, you have to -"

"You're telling ME to shut up in my own mountain?!" Hephaestus exclaimed in anger. Pulling Aphrodite aside, he thrust the poker at Ares. The sound and smell of sizzling flesh filled the room. Ares looked down at his singed stomach.

"Great. Just great. That was a brand-new tunic," he growled. He looked up, and narrowed his eyes. "You shouldn't have done that."

"Whoa!" Aphrodite stepped in between the two men before the fighting got any worse. "This testosterone fest is like totally bumming me out, okay? Listen." She turned the entire force of her womanly powers on Ares. "All you have to do now, to turn Xena into a total evil killing machine thing, is send someone to kidnap and torture her little bard friend, and she'll do like *anything* to rescue her, get it?"

"Hmm." Ares paused to think about it. "I guess it could work." He looked down at the goddess and warned, "But next time I ask for your help, I'll decide what the plan should be!"

"Like, you're totally cute when you agree with me," Aphrodite giggled. She tilted her face upward and Ares bent to kiss her fiercely on the lips before vanishing.

"You didn't have to go and kiss him," Hephaestus grumbled as he turned back to his forge.

"Oh, get a guh-RIP," the Goddess of Love exclaimed.

It was late by the time Xena and Gabrielle reached the nearest village. The warrior princess went to secure Argo while the young bard negotiated with the innkeeper for food, rooms and baths. Not until the fee was paid and she was relaxing in a hot tub did Gabrielle remember Xena's condition, and belately wish she had asked for separate baths and rooms.....

"Gabrielle?" Xena's voice was hoarse with passion when she entered the bathhouse, leaving a trail of armor and weapons behind on the ground. She slid into the water like a fish, her wide blue eyes fixated on Gabrielle's wet naked body.

"Um...Xena...maybe this isn't such a good idea," Gabrielle managed, trying to scoot away. But the older woman was faster, surer and more determined, and in an instant she had Gabrielle pinned against the side of the tub, wet flesh sliding slickly across wet flesh as her mouth devoured the bard's.

"Best idea I've had all day," Xena purred, her tongue darting out to trace the outlines of Gabrielle's mouth. Gabrielle's head spun. It took every ounce of self-control she possessed to push Xena away, but she managed it.

"Xena, have you ever...done this before?" she asked hurriedly, trying to stall. "I mean...with a woman?"

"Sure, plenty of times," Xena replied carelessly. "But none as perfect as you....my sweet Gabrielle." The bard couldn't take her eyes off her companion's wide mouth as it descended again to her skin...and when it closed eagerly around one tight nipple Gabrielle knew she was lost. Not even Perdicas' touch could have aroused the kind of furious passion that was sparked deep in her belly by that hot caress. A breathy moan burst from Gabrielle's throat as she clutched Xena's head against her breast.

The sound of a masculine voice calling her name mercifully penetrated Gabrielle's brain and broke through the haze of lust, just as a gust of chill air broke through the steam of the bathhouse as the door swung open. The young bard pushed the warrior firmly away from her, and they were safely separated by several feet of water by the time Joxer reached the side of the tub.

"Bad news, Gabby," he panted as he collapsed on the ground, oblivious to the tension in the air. "Aphrodite won't even listen to what I have to say."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Joxer," Gabrielle managed, keeping her voice level by the sheer exertion of her bardic will.

"Yeah, you'd think she'd be a little more grateful after I saved all her temples from destruction, wouldn't you? Of course," he puffed out his chest importantly, "Joxer the Mighty doesn't need thanks for all his deeds of bravery and prowess."

"Of course not," Gabrielle agreed. "You know, Joxer, this is a bathhouse."

"Huh? Oh!!!"

Joxer paled as he realized the implications. He leapt to his feet and would have stumbled out backwards had not Gabrielle held out her hand and requested, "Could you pass me a towel?"

Averting his eyes, Joxer the Mighty handed the bard a towel and fled. Gabrielle wrapped the towel around her wet naked body and did likewise, leaving a forlorn Xena to amuse herself as best she could in the tub....

(Author's Note: There is ample evidence for Aphrodite cheating on Hephaestus with Ares; in fact, in many versions of Greek myth she was married to Ares and bore him three children.)

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