Aetheogamy

Please read the Disclaimer in Part One!
Spoilers: "Family Affair" and everything that's background for it
Xenite Disclaimer for Part Five: Countless vegetables were harmed in the production of this fanfic.

Lilla lay back on the flat bed and closed her eyes; her breathing slowed as she let her body relax. Through the hectic pace of the last few days a realization had slowly been forming itself in her mind; only now, in the relative quiet of the Amazon trainees' dorm, could it begin to take shape.

She lay quietly and allowed the thoughts to flow, examining each in its turn. They ran mostly to images and impressions from her recent days of traveling with Xena and Gabrielle, interspersed with other memories of the past few years.

Lilla could see now that she had been unfair in her judgment of Xena, and of her sister's actions. She had unquestioningly accepted her parents' viewpoint: that Xena was the evil warlord who had whisked their innocent daughter away, all unwilling, in dead of night, and had subjected her to unnamed horrors in the intervening years, dragging her all across Greece to fulfill some foul purpose known only to Xena. Despite all evidence to the contrary -- even after Gabrielle had returned to help Meleager defend Poteidaia -- Lilla had persisted in this viewpoint. She realized now that in doing so she had ignored everything she knew about her sister. In fact, she hadn't even granted Gabrielle free will; it was as if it had all been Xena's story and Gabrielle was just a pawn. Lilla berated herself mentally for this. Gabrielle had changed, but not that much. She was still the headstrong girl who did nothing she didn't want to do. It was unfair of Lilla to suppose that Gabrielle had taken no part in the decision-making.

Her eyes popped open and she frowned in surprise at the rough grain of the wooden roof as a second realization arrived. If Gabrielle deserved more credit for her decisions, didn't that also mean that Xena deserved less blame? After all, when someone follows you, there's only so much you can do to stop them. Lilla blushed slightly and then sobered as she recalled Xena's reaction when she insisted on coming with them to this Amazon village. It had never occurred to her, either, that Xena might feel guilty for the bad things that had happened to Gabrielle. Lilla's lips tightened in self-reproach. Of course Xena felt guilty. It was written all over her face, her body language, if only one was paying attention. Lilla may be a small-town girl, but she wasn't stupid. She could see that her sister and the enigmatic warrior were in love, and she should have paid more attention to the implications.

Intruding on her thoughts again came the picture of Gabrielle, bruised and bloodied by Xena's hand, sitting in their father's house. Lilla knew that it hadn't actually been Xena's doing -- in fact, that hadn't even been Gabrielle but her evil lookalike daughter -- but knowing it in the head and accepting it in the heart were two different things. It was hard to erase that mental picture of her sister in pain, hard to unravel the knot of anger it created. Lilla narrowed her eyes in determination. Well, if it was hard to do, she would just have to try harder. If she had trouble accepting Xena as Gabrielle's lover, that was her problem, not Xena's. She had been unfair to Xena for too long.

Having made that decision, Lilla felt much better. She let out a long breath and allowed the input from her senses to resume. She could smell food cooking and hear the sounds of a lot of people moving around. It reminded her comfortably of the morning of the Midsummer Festival, when she had always liked to lie in bed for a few moments after she awoke -- listening to the sounds of preparation, and smelling the feast being prepared, and basking in the homeliness of it all for a moment before her mother called her to help knead the dough. She smiled with pleasure and sat up. Looking out the window, she could see curls of smoke rising from several cookfires, and the tops of numerous heads rushing by.

Lilla may be a small-town girl, but she hadn't been raised to laze about while others were doing for her -- guest or no guest. She leaned down to slip her shoes back on and went outside.

Just beyond the door of the dorm she found the young Lirin, squatting in the dirt, trying to look as though she weren't guarding the door. The girl jumped up when she saw Lilla.

"My la - um, Lilla," she said awkwardly. "Couldn't you sleep? I could get you an earplug."

"No, I'm done resting, thank you," Lilla said firmly. "Now I'm ready to help."

"Help?"

"Yes, with the preparations." Lilla took Lirin's arm in a friendly fashion. "Why don't you show me where the cooks are? I'm sure they can use an extra pair of hands."

"Uh, of course," Lirin said, rallying more quickly this time. "It's over this way."

"Xena," Gabrielle said as she picked at the nutbread, "there's something you still haven't told me."

"Oh?" Xena said somewhat warily, mentally replaying their most recent conversations. She turned an inquiring eye on the bard-queen.

"What happened to Callisto?" Gabrielle asked seriously, setting the plate aside. Xena's expression stilled. She took a slow breath and let it out slowly.

"I killed her," she said plainly. Gabrielle nodded, unsurprised.

"You stabbed her with the hind's blood dagger."

"Yes."

Gabrielle nodded again and was silent. Xena watched her for a moment and then added, a little desperately, "Gabrielle, I was in shock. You had just gone into the pit. You were gone - I turned around and she-" She stopped as Gabrielle raised a hand to cut her off.

"It's all right," Gabrielle said stoically. "You don't have to explain." She looked up and met Xena's eyes. "You gave her what she wanted."

Xena wasn't sure she liked the expression on her lover's face, but before she could press the issue, there was another knock on the door. "You guys ready?" came Ephiny's voice from outside.

"Time to party," Gabrielle said with artificial brightness, unfolding her legs from the bed and opening the door. "Hi Eph. Give me one minute to put my shoes on."

Lirin led Lilla closer in to the heart of the village, where the density of the cooking fires made the air noticeably warmer and the noise of the Amazons -- who were already partying as they performed setup -- grew much louder. They turned a corner and pushed past a hanging drapery that shielded a long table around which were gathered a group of youngsters and one older Amazon, all chopping vegetables and slicing meat and stirring pots. They were all also listening to one girl who was telling what appeared to be a fascinating story.

"...and she comes bursting into the room and finds them both there, and she says..." The young bard stopped when she saw the newcomers, and her audience turned to see where she was looking.

"Briana," said Lirin quickly, addressing the older woman, "this is Lilla, Gabrielle's Sister." She dropped her voice dramatically and added, "She wants to help." The other girls looked at Lilla with wide eyes.

"Glad to hear it," Briana said briskly, coming over to clasp Lilla's hand by way of greeting. "What can you do?"

"Oh, almost anything," Lilla said confidently. "I can haul water, chop vegetables, carve meat...." She spotted a large bowl full of sticky white stuff. "I can knead dough."

"Perfect, this dough can use someone with muscle," the head cook said approvingly. "You girls, clear a spot on the table there. Lilla, you can wash your hands in that basin." She turned. "Lirin, you gonna stand there, or you gonna pitch in?"

"Um ... I'll go see if Eponin needs any help," the youth replied. She shot an anxious look at Lilla.

"See you later," Lilla told her calmly. Lirin nodded and ran off.

"So, where were you, Fasi?" the cook said, addressing the young storyteller, as Lilla dried her hands and took her place at the table.

"Oh yeah...." Shooting another covert glance at Lilla, the girl picked up her story again. "Anyway, so Aphrodite comes into the room and she says-"

"That's not how I heard the story," another girl interjected with a smirk. "What really happened was, Aphrodite and Ares were-"

"Who cares about the stupid gods?" a third girl asked dismissively. "I bet the Queen's Sister could tell us some great stories."

All eyes turned to Lilla. "Yeah," said the first girl eagerly, "tell us what Gabrielle was like when she was a kid!"

"Oh, I don't know...." Lilla demurred, uncomfortable with all the attention, and wondering how much harm it would do to tell these youngsters an embarrassing story or three.

"Come on, please!" They all lent their voices to the cajoling chorus. Laughing, Lilla gave in.

"All right, all right. Let me think." The girls fell silent as she racked her brain for an entertaining but harmless story. "Well, there was this one time when we went out to milk the cows...."

"Ephiny," said Xena quietly to the Queen-Regent as they waited for Gabrielle, "has anything unusual been happening around here lately?"

"Unusual?" Ephiny repeated uneasily, narrowing her eyes at the warrior. "Like what?"

"Oh ... you know," Xena said carefully, "unexplained fires, people having visions, animals behaving strangely ... that kind of thing."

"Noooo...." Ephiny shook her head slowly. "Nothing comes to mind, Xena. Of course, when people have visions they don't usually come to me. They'd probably go to the healer, the shamaness."

"I didn't know you had a shamaness in this village."

"Well, we didn't last time you were here. Her name is Sepha -- she fought the renegades with us that time."

"Sepha," Xena repeated slowly. "I remember her. She was the friend of the Amazon who was killed at Minisis."

"That's right -- Daraia. After her death, Sepha became closer to Daraia's cousin Galia. Now she splits her time between here and her home village over the hills, and she serves as our shamaness and healer when she's here. She's there right now, but we could send a messenger if you think it's important."

"Mm," Xena murmured noncommittally. "What about the rest of the time? Who's your healer when Sepha isn't here?"

The way Ephiny's eyes narrowed before she spoke made the name unnecessary. "Anaira," she said, and Xena said it along with her.

"Well, it's probably nothing. I wouldn't worry about it," Xena said, avoiding Ephiny's eyes to preserve the fiction.

"Worry about what now?" Gabrielle asked, emerging from the cabin, sniffing the air.

"Nothing, just passing the time," Xena told her. Ephiny tactfully kept her mouth shut. Gabrielle grimaced but let it pass.

"Come on, you two. Let's party." She brushed between them and headed toward the center of the village.

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