Xena and Gabriel1 were walking thru a forest. Well actualy Xena was riding Argo and Gabriele was walking. When sudenly Gabrille noticed that Xena was looking at her tits. "Why are you staring at my tits xena" she asked.2
"I want you" Xena said. She jumped down off Argo and said "let's do it right here in the dirt"!3
"Ohmigosh xena! I want you to but I didn't know too girls could do it!"4 Gabriell5 exclaimed. She didn't even know how two girls would do it. "How do we do it?" she asked.6
"I cant tell you I can only show you" Xeena said.7 "But I warn you that say now if you want me to do it cuz once I start I wont be able to stop!"8
Gabrelle9 was scared because she didn't know if she would like it or not, but she was real curious and wanted to know what two girls do in bed, evne tho they didnt have a bed. And Zeena was real big and strong and kinda scary even though her boobs were real big.10 So Gabrial had to think about it for a minute before she said "OK".11
Xane12 got a scary look and got out her knife and cut off all Gabrilels13 cloths.14 "Ohmigosh Xena!" she said even though she was real turned on to. "I told you you had to say yes or no before I started!" Then she put her hands on Bagrielle's15 boobs16 and kissed her real hard. "Oh Zena!" Gabreill17 said panting. "Can I feel you up over your cool leather cloths!"
"Not untill I say!" Xeena said. She kissed Gabriel all over her body including the good parts. Then she took off her panties and rubbed their girl parts together until Gabreil came.18
"Ohmigosh Zena I didnt know it could be like this! I thought I liked doing it with Purdikus my husband but he was just a man!"19
"I want you to put your mouth on my thingy"! Xeena ordered and shoved Gabrial's head between her legs. Gabrialle started licking. She was real good at it and Xena came.20
"I love you Xeena!" Gavriele said.
"I love you to and wont never share you with anyone else. Marry me."21
"Only if you let me feel you up over your cool leather cloths and touch your big boobies!"22
"O Gabrille I love you! No one else can except my dark side with my light side. Touch me, but know that sometimes Ill need to tie you up and be scary."23
"Wioll you wip me whith your big whip?" Gabreill said.24
"Thats for our honeymoon" Zeena said and kissed her.25
THE END
1. Gabrielle.
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2. Redundant. "Xena" should be capitalized. The repetition of "tits" implies that the author doesn't know many words for breasts.
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3. Who talks like this? "Let's" should be capitalized.
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4. "Xena" should be capitalized. "I want you, too, but I didn't know two girls could do it." Um, honey, you're in Ancient Greece; give me a break.
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6. Redundant and dumb. See #4.
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7. Xena. Also, as the author is getting more excited, she has lost her apostrophe key and her grammar is getting worse. And what does Xena mean, "I can only show you?" Why is Xena so incoherent about sex? Is it because the author doesn't know very much about the mechanics of sex?
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8. I HATE this. "I'm such a passionate person that once I start screwing you if you decide you don't like it I'll date rape you anyway." Gag.
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10. The size of Xena's breasts is a non-sequitur in the context of this paragraph about how intimidating Xena is and Gabrielle's dilemma about her budding homosexuality.
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11. She got over her dilemma quickly, didn't she?
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13. GABRIELLE'S, dammit!
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14. Ah, we have now entered the realm of bad BDSM fic, in which there is no communication and Gabrielle really loves all this weird shit Xena is doing even though it's scary. The grammar is getting worse and worse. And it's "clothes," not "cloths."
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15. Why does "Bagrielle" crack us up so much? Is it the resemblance to "Bag your face, I'm sure!" in the song "Valley Girl"?
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16. Look! She does know another word for tits!
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17. XENA! GABRIELLE! Oh, I give up.
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18. "Girl parts"? Hot. ;)
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19. I shouldn't laugh. Apparently it was enough to make Gabrielle swear off heterosexuality.
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20. At the beginning of the story Gabrielle didn't know two girls could do it and now she's a cunnilingus expert? Give me a break!
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21. At the beginning of the story Gabrielle didn't know two girls could have sex, but she has no problem with the idea of getting married?
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22. Who talks like this?
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23. Only sick and tortured people like BDSM. But Gabrielle loves Xena anyway. Maybe she's codependant.
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24. Holy Hand Grenades! She's just had her second sexual experience, her first homosexual experience, and her first BDSM exprience and Gabrielle wants to be whipped with a bullwhip! Damn she's a trouper!
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25. Shouldn't Xena say something like, "Maybe we should start with a light spanking and see if you like it first" instead? I mean, a bullwhip is pretty heavy-duty stuff. C'mon!
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