Phoebe, Piper, and Prue were all sitting in their house that they owned one day.1 The house was theirs because it had been their grandmother's and her grandmother's and her grandmother's2 and wen way back in their families history.3 It was their ancestral home, so to speak. Well anyway,4 they were sitting in their house looking at their book of shadows, which was a book that had all their spells in it, not shadows like the name implies.5 They were trying to find an anti-love spell because they wanted to make these really really6 mean guys not be in love with them anymore. They were in love with them because the grils had casted7 a spell that was supposed to make the guys have hearts so they weren't such big meanies8 anymore. Anyway... back to the book. Piper had it in her lap and she found a spell that could work.
"Hey guys!! I found it!!" Piper told her sisters.
"Lemme see that" Pure9 replied. So Piper handed the book to Pru so she could see it.10
The spell Piper found was called "The Anti-Love Spell." That was how they knew it was what they was11 looking for.12 The spell was actually a recipe for a potion they had to spray on the guys so they'd be out of love with the sisters. The ingrediants13 that were needed for the spell were Eye of Newt, Wing of Bat, St. John's Wort, Holy Water, Ragweed, and 3 hairs from a virgin witch.14
After they saw the last ingrediant that was needed, Prue and Pipper looked over at Phobe, they're15 younger sister. She said to them, "Hey what're you two lookin' at me like that for. I'm not a virgin. I screwed16 the paper boy when I was in 8th grade.."
"Umm... Phoebe... you WERE the paperboy when you were in 8th grade." Pipe replies.17
"Well, yeah, but I still had sex with myself. Actually, it was with my hand and a big cucumber. I have lots of fun with cucumbers now. And sometimes with eggplants too if I'm really really horny!"18
"WE DIDN"T WANT TO KNOW PHOBE!!!19 I'm never going to eat cucumbers EVER again..." Prue said back to her.
So anyway, after the three sister's bickered back and forth for a while about various fruits and vegetables that phoebe fucked20 and then finally came to the conclusion that since she used them on herself, it was only masterbaitshun21 and so she was technically still a virgin so they could use her hair for the potion.
They made the potion and then went out and spraid it on the guys who were sitting naked on the front porch waiting for the girls to come out so they could screw them because they were in love with them and that's what you do when yer inlove... you fuck.22
The potion made the guys fall out of love with sisters, but it also made them a lot meaner. It also had some backwards effects23 too. These backwards effects were because the astral gods didn't qualify phobie as a true virgin. So the backwards effects were that the sisters turned into incest lovin', leather sportin, BDSM freaks. No one's really sure why it backfired like this, but it did.24
So anyways, because of these backwards effects, the sisters all went up into Prue's room and they all stripped each other's clothes off at the same times. They picked Prue;s room cuz she was the oldest and she had the biggest room and the biggest bed, so they could have lots of dirty sex for as long as they wanted. 25
Anyway, piper started eating phobe's cunt and she came like right away because she was horny.26 And Prue got her big 12 inch strap on dildo out of her nightstand and put it on and started fucking piper in the ass.27 Piper liked it a whole lot even tho she'd never been assfucked before. After Phoebe recovered from her monstrous orgasm, she started sucking on pru's tits and pru liked that a lot. In fact, she like it so much that she came really quickly because her strap on was pressing on her happy woman spot.28
The sister's all took turns with the strap on and phoebe got out some cucumbers and they fucked all night long. By the next morning their holes were so streched out that they'd never be satisfied fucking guys anymore. They'd have to bye huge dildos and lots of cucumbers and other big long vegetables to screw with. Or they could get into animal sex and screw horses like Catherine the Great of Russia did. But I think she died cuz one of her horses fell on her.29
Anyway, they finally fell asleep a dawn.
When the sisters finealy waked up, they were all naked and cuddled up together and couldn't figure out why. Their cunts and asses really hurt tho. They decided that it must have been an evil warlock or something and they went about their business as if nothing had ever happened.30 Well, not exactly... they vowed to find that evil warlock one day and shove big things up his ass until he screamed for his mommy.31
1. Redundant
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2. I think we get the picture here....
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3. Went. Family's.
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4. Can you tell this author knows nothing about how to write transitions?
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5. Why not just call the reader a moron? It would be a lot less confusing, and it'd take up less space.
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8. "Big meanies?" I don't know. I think maybe this is being just a little too harsh.
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10. Well gee... and here I thought she handed it to Prue so that Phoebe could see it. DUH!
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12. What a concept! Using the name of a spell to determine what it's supposed to do. I never would've thought of something that complicated!
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13. Ingredients.
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14. What the author is really trying to say here is, "I don't really know anything about spells or potions, so I'm just going to ramble off a list of ingredients and hope I don't sound too cliché."
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15. Piper. Phoebe. Their.
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16. Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't we make the characters talk like they still ARE in 8th grade?
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17. Piper. And we couldn't at least keep the story in the same tense could we?
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18. Okay, the cucumber part, I might be able to believe, but an EGGPLANT?!?
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19. Did someone get their finger stuck on the shift key? And it's Phoebe, not Phobe.
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20. Looks like the author is spending too much time thinking about Phoebe masturbating to refrain from using profanity.
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21. Do I need to even keep pointing out the spelling errors? I mean is it so hard to run a spell check before you put your story online?
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22. I'm not even going to get started on the contents of this runon sentence. Sheesh, I thought everyone learned in gradeschool how to avoid runons.
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23. Backwards effects? Ooh... now there's a real sophisticated term for you.
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24. Here, the author is really saying, "Well, since I really have no plot anyway, and this story will never be posted on any respectable fan site, I may as well turn it into a porn story as well."
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25. You know what they say... incest is best, put your family to the test.
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26. First of all, Piper has never done this before, so there's no way that she's as good as the author makes her out to be. Second of all, there was no foreplay, and Piper wasn't going at it for very long, so there's no way that Phoebe could reach orgasm so quickly.
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27. Am I the only one who thinks it's a little strange that Prue has a 12 inch strap on in her nightstand? And another thing, I seriously doubt Piper has ever had anal sex, but even if she had, she would still need some preparation and at least a little lube.
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28. Her happy woman spot? I think that's just a little too graphic for me. I better close my eyes and stop reading before my fragile innocence is shattered.
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29. I give up trying to address the feasibility of any of this. One thing I will say is that where did that comment about Catherine the Great come from? And did the author really have to put her own two cents in about how she thinks Catherine died?
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30. Translates to: "I don't really know where else to take this, and I have to skill at writing conclusions, so I'll just write a little cop out ending and maybe they'll buy it." NOT!!
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31. Yes, you read that right. They think an evil warlock raped them in their sleep, and they actually believe that if they torture him, he'll scream for his mommy? I'm not buying it, are you?
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32. Thank any and all gods that are listening. It's finally over!!
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